Monday, October 9, 2006

open service

More attempts at renewed ownership keep failing miserably. I just can't feel the submissive urge. No, wait, i'll rephrase that. I just can't feel the slavish devotion. No one can make me say i want to be your slave and no one else's. i guess to do that, i have to fall victim to those feelings that are awash with love, infatuation, admiration. All those things i'm not getting.

i'm well aware of my subservient position in life and i'm happy to oblige to requests for service but other than feeling good for having satisfied a dominant man who required my services, i have no further desire to become owned. No one, these days, is inspiring those feelings of awe in me, no one i can comfortably look up to - and not because i'm feeling high up already but because i feel there's no one around.

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