all about my Master

A few days ago, i asked Master if He would allow me to write a little more about Him in this blog.

I have now been His for over 2 years. Two years and a quarter, in fact. Over this time, i have never written much about my slavery mainly because, as i've explained before, i felt that it wasn't really mine to talk about. In order to write about it, i have to write about my Master and i wasn't really sure He would want me to or that i should even ask. I always hesitate to ask something of Master, unless i have to. My reasoning is that if i have to ask, it is not something that He has wanted in the first place and asking for something for myself is not adequate slave behaviour.

i suppose we could call this a guideline, rather than a strict rule: i'm in no way claiming that i have never asked Master anything that he hadn't initiated first but i suppose i try to limit the extent to which i risk being a nuisance for Him and this request was never pressing enough to float to the top of the list of things to ask.

As it turns out, over 2 years and a quarter, the question has made its way to the top of said list and Master has allowed me to write a few things about Him which means i can now blog a little about my current situation.

As readers of this blog will know already, in the past my search for a Master has been hindered by the fact that i am not unattached. Although my partner of many years is aware of my submissive nature and understands my need to make it part of my real life, this has limited the number of Masters who have been interested in taking me as their slave. Personally, i have little interest in one-offs, role-play or "scenes" and was always seeking a deeper connection that would link me to the man who'd take me in hand but the masters who sought a slave like me, also wanted a live-in situation or an otherwise full-time arrangement.

Lucky for me, this has not been an issue for my Master because He cannot actually have me around all the time as he is also not unattached.

In fact, i am available to Him much more than He can even have me around which, although frustrating at times, means that i'm always available for Him when He wants me to go and serve Him and obviously this is the way things should be.

But this time around is not only a first in the sense that i am able to feel i can actually satisfy the Man who owns me in terms of His expectations with regards to the time He wants me with Him, He is also very different from any master who has tried his hand with me in the past in a number of ways, the most noteworthy of which is the fact that He is straight.

i must admit it was always a fantasy of mine to serve a straight man. i suppose the reality of it is different from the fantasy, as i will explain in a minute, but it's still a pretty strong factor playing on my mind as it is one additional element emphasising the difference between us.

My Master and i were born within a matter of days of each other at the opposite ends of the world. I think this similarity and opposition between us is quite emblematic of everything about us as it symbolises how we are at the same time very similar and very different from each other: in fact we could potentially have been the same type of person, but we're not: He's dominant and strong-willed and i'm quiet and submissive, He's stronger and i'm weaker, He's straight and i'm gay, He's my Master and i'm His slave.

It just all feels right.

Our personalities complement each other so well. From my point of view, He's everything that i am not and i love serving Him for that and can't thank my lucky star enough that He has chosen me, of all people, to be His slave.

I must admit that i like the fact that He is this "unsuspectable" straight married man out there in the world and i am -- unbeknownst to all -- His adoring slave.

I think the main bonus of my Master being straight is the fact that He is obviously completely disconnected from the "gay scene" which is an environment i have always found quite off-putting. I do like to hang around at the occasional gay bar for drinks and such but i have never liked the whole cruisy side of gay life and the superficiality that often seems to pervade it.

But His sexual orientation obviously also affects the way in which i serve Him, which, again, is very different from any Master who's owned me in the past. Initially, sexual service was not a strong part of the reason why Master wanted to own a slave but pretty quickly He began making use of me sexually. Sex with Master, however, is very different from sex with any other man before Him. His excitement comes not from any sexual objectification of me personally but purely through the power relationship: the knowledge that my body is His to use however He wishes and sex is but one of those uses.

In my case, obviously, it's a little different: i am very attracted to Master, i'm excited any time i'm near Him and love serving Him in whatever way He wants. I suppose this is one further difference between us that sees me being in a weaker role. This lack of sexual objectification on His part, however, is something i hadn't considered or worked into my previous fantasies about serving a straight man and it was initially something i was unprepared for.

I had never consciously thought about it before but a gay Master will look at a male slave differently from a straight Master. This is so obvious to say now, but before Master came around, i had never thought about it. That sexual tension is something that is clearly there with a gay Master and doesn't need to be spoken but the minute it's not there, you are definitely aware of its absence and a slave's nakedness can become much more naked.

I'm in no way implying that i feel rejected by Master but i think that in this context a slave becomes a lot more like a pet -- which incidentally is what Master likes to call me sometimes. He calls me His pet. And i truly feel that way 100%.

In this context there is no overlapping between the relationship we share and the ones with our respective partners because they could not be any more different. Of course i love my Master very much, but in an entirely different way from the way i do my partner. My Master is not my partner: He is my Owner, the man i lovingly serve and worship. And similarly i also feel His love for me, which i'm well aware, is very different from the love He has for His wife.

This leaves no room for any kind of jealousy. The simplicity and linearity of these feelings is what makes my slavery so special: there are no uncertainties, no mixed signals, no doubts, no scope for the relationship to develop in unforeseen directions.

All there is here is one Man and His slave.