crossroads

Recently i've been spending time on iVisit. Too much time, in fact. My profile says i don't do cyber or camsex, and it's true, i'm really not interested in that but from time to time it occurs to me, out of boredom more than anything else, to set up the webcam and enter this video chat-room full of men mostly wanking with their cams pointed at their bits as they lazily stroke them looking at other men who've also pointed their cams at their bits as they lazily stroke them.

Some images may be vaguely intriguing -- often, for me, depending on whether the shot is taken from the bottom up or the top down, or how comfortably they seem to be sitting -- but for the most part (as someone who's not particularly into cock shots) they're just boring. I guess the whole atmosphere just calls on my exhibitionism, though. Some men will ask me to show them something, or do something, and although i don't start the whole cam adventure thinking of playing slave on cam, when i'm addressed directly by a man playing with his cock, and i'm asked to do something, i guess something takes over me and even if my plan was simply to go to bed unwound, i have to put that plan on hold and start doing what i'm told.

I guess the appeal is also not knowing who will be in the chat-room and sometimes it's the men i would be least likely to go for in real life that i like to accommodate the most.

In any case i generally get hooked on this for a few days at a time and then don't go back to it for many months. But there's also a very sociable aspect to all this: that you sometimes meet really nice people. It's the democracy of masturbation: we're all equals fallo-in-hand, so you can talk much more freely if you're that way inclined. One such person, JM, i felt very close to at times although i haven't talked to him in quite some time now.

You see, you can view it as a crossroads where many people come (quite literally in fact) like a big train station where we all cross each other, each with our separate destinations in mind, but for a few minutes or so we're all sharing the same space.