i have no words. at times some events leave me speechless. Disappointed and speechless. Unable to understand. Some people i have met are self-assured enough to know it's always someone else's fault. Me, i have no idea what to think.
"I don't wanna meet again".
I got this text message from someone who's supposedly my friend after he's come back from holiday. Final. He had deleted my number from his phone without letting me know. He had to text me to find out who was sending him a message asking the reason for his silence.
This is not someone i've chatted to last week and now is not interested in meeting up. This is someone i've known for about a year. Someone i considered a friend. Someone i've talked to about very personal stuff that was going on with me. Someone who wanted to introduce me to his partner. Someone whose key i've driven across London to pick up when he was moving here. Someone i've lost 2 points on my driving license for. Someone, more seriously, who i've gone to a fucking Kylie Minogue concert for.
"You don't need to reply as I made my decision about this".
1 comment:
I now work on the principle that all gay men are innately and unredeemably selfish bastards. It works pretty well as an approximation until proven otherwise, and is pretty easy to use as a comparator in any given case.
Realising this, and the fact that I don't need to put myself through their problems - caused a rationalisation of who I thought were friends.
It's also made me a lot happier to be myself and be by myself, as I'm not now looking for reassurance / image reinforcement (sexual, emotional, whatever) from people whom I realise now aren't exactly good role models...
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