how it ended

I will just write a couple of things about what happened because it is not my intention to go into the details of how things ended with my former owner.

I will just say that he has fundamentally betrayed my trust in a way that I never could have imagined.

I have known him for close to 6 years and I have exposed everything about myself to him. I had full trust in him only to find out that in the last few months he was lying to me for one of the most nefarious reason I can think of.

This has effectively put an end to our relationship but more than that, I think it has affected my ability to fully trust people.

The day I found out, I was out in the street and I was so disgusted that I felt repulsed by everyone around me. I didn't want anything to do with anyone else. I didn't want to talk, or touch, or be in the vicinity of anyone else, other than my partner who has supported me through this.

This was a couple of weeks ago and was the culmination of a couple more weeks of intense pain. 

Fortunately, my ostrich like ability to put things behind me, ignore them, put them in a box and hide it, pretend they never happened, has helped me feel better about this whole thing. I've started to look around me again, and don't feel so repulsed anymore.

But I do feel cheated out of more than 5 years of my life, being involved with someone who turned out to be a pathological liar.

I'll leave it there. The negativity. This is the last I shall speak of this.

I'm just trying to figure out what to do with myself now...