over?

There is one thing that can be safely said about me. I can't be trusted to make my own decisions and know what's best for me. This is why i'm meant to be a slave, have someone in charge of me to take all these decisions. Unfortunately to get to the stage of being a slave, you have got to have taken decisions before so it's kind of a catch 22 situation.

Today i feel better. I've had a very dark 24 hours during which i have considered this story from top to bottom and i've come to the conclusion that i won't let it end on account of circumstances. If he wants it to end, it's fine, because it means that he doesn't want me and my submissiveness feeds on a man's desire to own me - but if he tells me he does want me, as he does, and he doesn't want it to end, then we must meet face to face to find out if anything is there. We MUST.

It's a very pragmatic and atypically assertive approach i'm taking but i have to follow my heart and the happiness i feel when he talks to me, i have to allow myself this. I will see what comes but tonight my outlook is brightened up by a certain degree of hope. You want to call it delusion? Be my guest - i'm in half a mind to call it that too but tonight it doesn't matter because delusion may be just the cement i needed to fill my void.