anon69

A long time ago i came across this webpage. It's a mock-advert (i imagine) from the Fez Pleasure House looking for pleasure boys to serve customers. Serving boys have to undergo surgery to be castrated and for their dicks to be reduced in size. I think this story awakened my interest in chastity and, to a limited extent, castration. The idea of losing this desire to seek out my own sexual pleasure, step out of the rat race, complete the transition from subject to object, be taken in hand and become a tool to exclusively serve and please my owner are all instilled in this one symbolic act.

i think of this sometimes when i undress before going to bed and see the reflection of my body. i see my dick and feel that i would want it to be smaller and insignificant. i would want to work on everything else that makes up my body to make an owner want to have me but neglect and deny that one part of me.

At the time i found this story i was simply trying to figure out to what extent i was going to want to explore this side of me. My relationship with my bf was not open and i had an online Master.

Online masters now to me seem a bit pointless but i can honestly say that - maybe because i never saw Him - He was as near perfect as you can get. The interaction with Him is what defined Him. He brought light into my days and i did long for Him and wanted to please Him so badly. He understood me. There are many things you can fake online but this you can't. And He understood me.

He wasn't so impressed with my castration fantasy but he did like to keep me chaste for weeks at a time. I remember my balls hurting going to uni and knowing that even thousands of miles away (He was in the States) He was behind the pain and discomfort i was feeling and i felt happy to be able to offer this small homage to Him. Once He wrote to me on Christmas day telling me that He was happy with the progress i was making. That email was the best Christmas present for me.

Unfortunately in time things changed. i became frustrated because He wanted more and more from me and i felt unable to please Him. His requests were starting to be invasive of my boyfriend's privacy or required me to do things behind his back. And i couldn't do it. i once confessed to Him that part of me wished He would grow tired of me and not contact me anymore so that i wouldn't have to feel that i was being such a failure in trying to please Him.

After writing that i never heard from Him again. I tried again to make contact with him many times since then but his email was no longer active and, just like that, one very important presence in my life had vanished in the vastness of the internet.