#008: understand

A terrible session. I left feeling very annoyed with her. I'm starting to sense she's not going to understand what i'm trying to tell her at all. She tells me things like: a slave hates his master. And she's not budging. Her point is that my relationship is the real thing i should worry about and the M/s desire is nothing but a fantasy. idealised and impossible. I realise it's a fantasy at this stage, but so is the perfect vanilla relationship when you want one and don't have it. I feel like she's trying to superimpose her moral values on my life and that's really the last thing i need from her. Through all the annoying stuff i've realised that one of my main needs is to be understood. Understood and accepted. That's probably why i have this blog, why i'm seeking a Master who gets me, why i tried so hard with L when, with the things he said, it all seemed like a big misunderstanding.