accueil

Today i saw him again. My ghost. L. Every time it's like an exercise in introspection, like putting myself under the microscope and trying to understand how i respond. The big infatuation is clearly behind me but i would be lying if i didn't admit to myself that he still stirs something up in me, i just have no word for what it is. These days i really wouldn't want to be his slave and i wouldn't want to be his lover or his boyfriend. But I would want to be held, in silence, for a little while, to allow all those feelings i had for him to finally seep out of me. Cry them out. i wish that he could simply accept them, acknowledge them, receive them, after denying them any expression for so long. They've stagnated in me for so long that it would do me a lot of good to clear them out.