A few weeks ago, a mate came over to watch a movie. He's a friend i met through slave4master so he knows fairly well what i'm like. We'd tried the Master/slave thing in the beginning but he's quite a bit younger than me and the chemistry between us meant we naturally drifted towards a more friendly situation. When he comes over he normally stays over and when he does he often wants to get off before he drifts off.
The last time he was over i was on chastity orders so i made clear to him that i had no intention of having sex. How lost can we be in our own little worlds! I guess if you're a submissive on chastity orders, sure, no sex means no sex. If you're a 25 year-old top and you're horny, those words make no sense at all. So 5 minutes later he's on top of me with his cock inching closer to my face. At first i could only laugh. This was my friend, this young kid who comes over to watch movies and chat and now he won't take no for an answer. I tried again to resist his attack but he was just amused by my resistance and in the end i gave in. i'm always the one who gives in in the face of persistence.
So i allowed my lips to part and as he realised i had conceded defeat he transitioned from his active phase to simply relaxing enjoying his victory while i did my bit. i must admit i enjoyed it. In my mind i was feeling guilty because i thought that i shouldn't have been doing that, and that if i really wanted i could have stopped it but at the same time it was so easy to let go, to service a guy who's horny and wants to get off. There's only so much i could have resisted. When he was done i respected my chastity orders but that he was ok with and didn't insist. I enjoyed the transition from the energy of sex to the calm that follows it, knowing i had helped it come about but mostly i was fascinated by having witnessed the urge that comes over a guy who wants to get off, the unswerving drive and youthful and steadfast determination to stick his cock in places. i'm fascinated when i see this in someone and often a spur-of-the-moment quickie feels more intense to me than a long planned-out session.
Quite often 20-somethings have more of a quick and "repetitive" approach to sex rather than long sessions with final climax. Some subs take that as lack of experience or immaturity but i find it refreshing and endearing, even. I find exuberance charming and spontaneity attractive. However, when i was messaged today on gaydar by a cute 21-year-old who's quite keen to meet, i couldn't help but feel puzzled working out the age difference between us.
With age it's all relative and, on the basis of that, i tend to classify people in terms of a very relative younger, older or same age as me (i.e. a couple of years either side). Of these, i can't deny i have a penchant for meeting people who are about my age. Serving someone younger can be hot, on the basis of what i've said above, and flattering, too, but i guess there's always a sense that i shouldn't serve someone who's younger, that somehow it's not right. Serving someone older, more than just a few years, on the contrary, feels like it's too matter-of-fact, conventional, in line with the natural order of things: you look up and respect someone who's older than you so you follow their lead and submit to them. But the real mind fuck is serving somebody who's about my age. That's pure embracing of my submissive self. With someone my age, things could theoretically have gone either way, we would normally be on a par but as it happens we're separated by our very different natures. I can feel a stronger bond with someone my age, it's as if he is a part of me that's not in me, an alter ego, and in coming in contact with him i am finally whole. He fills all my voids and i fill his.
Well, this is as idealised as it gets. Things are generally not this clear-cut but i can't help but ebb towards this idealised perception of things in my attempt to make sense of myself and drifting out to wherever it is that i'm going.
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