trust

The days I'm spending in expectation of meeting my new Master are going by slowly, some more than others. My Master has found out about my blog and seemed quite pleased about it so i think He will let me continue to write it.

At times i can't help but ask myself what exactly i'm expecting out of this long-distance involvement. i'm wary of calling it a relationship because i hesitate to raise my gaze too high or allow myself to think too much of it, not in terms of time (which would be a lost battle) but in terms of its intensity.

i'm a bit like a kid who's afraid to trust. So he stands in a corner waiting for a tell-tale sign to understand if he can, or not, trust. At times i'm besotted by his charisma and force of character, but then his absence and distance leave me time enough to raise my barriers and questions again.

The trust that's so hard to give into, is not trust in Him, but rather trust in myself and in the belief, i keep toying with, that being His slave in spite of all the airmiles between us, is possible.

I wait and wait for the day that we will be face to face, confident that on that day i will know and have all the answers. Whether that's true is questionable but for the time being that's one belief i've decided to trust.