roadkill

As the days go by, my initial disoriented disappointment is turning into more of a concern that something might be wrong with my Master. Deluded? Perhaps. I will admit it's certainly easier to imagine that circumstances out of his control are preventing him from making himself heard but, to be fair, he hasn't logged in to his slave4master profile in over a week and that in itself is rather odd.

Maybe i'm finding excuses for him, or for me. In any case, i've given myself to him as his slave and i owe it to him to give him my trust and the benefit of the doubt. I don't think i'll take on suggestions i've received that i should look for another owner, however much i know they are meant for my own good out of genuine concern that i may be hurting over my Master's apparent defection. For now my loyalty remains with my Owner, where it should lie. If i'm to be available for another man's service, it's up to my Owner to set me free for that.

It may sound loyal, stupid, crazy, deluded, all these things at the same time - but think about it: what other option do i have? If i am to accept that he has lied and led me on all this time, it means that i can't and i don't really want to trust someone else. If i am to accept the fact that he's been dishonest with me, then there's really nothing i want to do. I don't want to see another master.

It's unfortunate that i'm so often in this situation of having to wait long periods of time for owners that disappear for a while, it's happened with both my major Masters in the past - but it's a side effect of the concept of loyalty to an owner - if he goes, he goes. i can only hope that he comes back.

It's true, i feel - as i always do in these situations - a bit like a pup that's been left by the side of the road but i'll do what any pup will do in the same situation, the only option i have: i'll wait for my Master to come back.