the long silence

A long silence, i know. Things have been partly out of my control. I've made one more attempt at finding that which i feel is lacking from my life, one more attempt that hasn't gone as i would have hoped. The silence was not necessarily imposed but partly provoked by the master who wanted me to submit posts to him for approval. Maybe the blog is one area of my life, possibly not the only one, that i don't want to subject to someone else's will and i suppose this sense of rebellion stirring within me that i couldn't quell ended up catalysing the overall response that brought me to want to reaffirm my independence. It's getting harder to stay in a place where i can simply serve and obey, maybe i'm developing more of a dom personality. Dear reader, i've just laughed harder than you have. I tell myself it's simply because i haven't met the man who makes me want to relinquish control. Far from me to suggest that this has nothing to do with me and is only dependent on who i'm dealing with, after asserting my independence i have naturally gravitated once again towards the virtual spaces where one might meet the sort of man that i hope will make me want to simply bow my head, serve and obey.