just one

Second and last week in Thailand and I realise i could easily get used to all this. Apart from generally and understandably being used as a commodity by some of the locals to make some cash. The funny thing is that one of the side effects of my submissive personality is that if you insist long enough, i'm likely to give in. The most I can do is try not to let this show and put up a seemingly unmoveable exterior.

But in a way this is what i like about submitting to somebody: that i can let go of this facade and do what's instinctive for me and that is follow someone else's lead. But while on holiday in Thailand, the defence has to stay put or the street vendors would see me coming a mile off.

I remember this guy in high school -- classic bad influence, smoking, taking drugs and repeating the same year over and over. I didn't particularly like him and he was always out of cigarettes. He would come to me and ask me for one. I'd say no. He'd say 'come on', I'd say no. He'd say 'oh, come on'. I'd say no. He'd say 'come on, man, don't be a pain'. I'd say no. He'd say 'come on, just one'. You get the picture. This could go on for ages, or, more precisely, until I would have enough and actually give him one. I find it funny now -- if not surprising -- to think that i would always cave and he'd always get his way. I think as a child/teen I had a knack for finding this kind of people. In context i'm guessing it could have been a lot worse. I imagine in an English school, considering the type of guy he was, and the type of guy i was, i could have have been beaten into giving up my cigarettes but in mellow Italy all i'd get was this oh-go-on-just-one business.