on a break

Recently my profile reads: on a break. Since ending things with my Master i haven't really been in the mood to look for a new owner. A couple of requests have come from men who are looking to own a slave but i've asked for their patience as i can't really deal with submitting to someone new. That's always the case, when something ends that felt meaningful, you need some time to adjust, you can't jump straight back in and you can't actually envisage having someone else step in and replace the person you have lost. When C let me go a few years ago, i came to wish over time that he had passed me on to someone else because for months i just couldn't deal with having to choose to give myself over to someone else, i couldn't imagine wanting to call someone else my master, it was too hard accepting that he had gone. But these days, replying to some messages explaining that i had just been released by my owner and couldn't really consider a new ownership i suddenly felt ashamed of myself, i felt that my behaviour was reprehensible. As a slave i guess i shouldn't allow myself such comfortable indulgence. My master has let me go and this makes me available to serve someone else. As a slave i probably can only feel better about myself by being of service. I should be able to overcome myself and my selfish self-centred needs. Even if there's sadness inside of me right now, i can find strength in letting someone else use me, validating my slave identity. This is who i am and what i'm there for.