who's a wanker?

Recently I was talking with a friend about a dom we've both met. Things hadn't quite worked out for us and when i brought it up with my friend his comment was plain and simple: he was a wanker. The directness of this statement surprised me. It left me wondering: was he really a wanker? Why didn't i think of it? In my mind things hadn't worked, i was unable to offer him what he wanted, blah blah, the assumption always being that a Master has a right to expect whatever he expects. But come to think of it, i suppose he was the kind of person you might want to call that: a wanker.

But this led me to wonder: why can't i express such ruthless, direct statements about people? I relatively easily tell someone that things are not going to work, for instance. That's pretty ruthless, i guess, and direct, so, if i quickly and easily pass one type of judgement about somebody, why can't i say, even just to myself, that someone is a wanker?

I suppose this would be your usual passive behaviour, not wanting to put yourself above someone else and judge them, but it's somewhat hypocritical because the judgement is there, i can sense it, i'm just completely in denial of it by not voicing or thinking about it.

I guess i just find it an odd character trait of mine that reflects my total refusal to behave in an active or assertive way, to the point of vigourously shaking my head to stop myself from admitting, even only to myself, that, yes, sometimes i do pass judgements on people and, yes, sometimes a Master can be a wanker.